Fear

FEAR

My biggest fear is growing up and being alone and never getting married. I want to be married at some point although I hear being married isn’t all cracked up as people make it sound. As im getting older im realizing how much work is needed to make a relationship work. Im fearful of divorce. Ive seen it happen with my mom and dad. I don’t want it to have the same effect on my children and have it scar them. Im probably the least affectionate person in the world. I decided to live with my dad, and since I lived with my dad obviously I wasn’t hugging my dad all the time or telling him I loved him. My mom and i stopped being so close to eachother. She holds a grudge saying that the reason why we are the way we are is because I chose to live with my dad. To be honest I don’t even know who my mother is. Shes done

a lot of things in the past that me and my brother don’t really approve of. We question who this mother is. I feel like she thought she was done raising me. And she doesn’t even really talk to me all that much. Its only when I call her. I get mad at her easily. And I feel bad when my mom asks me to tell her I love her. But I just can’t. Its not that I don’t love her. I do. But I just don’t like to say it.